A dramatically altered lifestyle of isolation will bring some interesting thoughts and emotions to the surface. Two weeks ago this isolation lifestyle had been in place long enough that I was starting to reevaluate my relationships, connections and human interaction. Besides a brief grocery run I had barely seen another adult for days, had only one meaningful adult conversation in weeks and the walls of home were beginning to close in. This season of “social distancing” comes with a number of rain clouds and the most pervasive is our loss of connection and interaction with our community.
But some of us have been feeling a measure of isolation for many months, maybe years. These feelings and circumstances aren’t new. What is unique is the extremes we’ve been brought to this spring and the fact that nearly everyone is now experiencing the stark reality of disconnect at the same time. I would argue that nearly everyone has been dealing with a lack of connectedness for a long time, even if they don’t realize it. A busy life isn’t a connected one. Being around people isn’t being connected to them.
We can’t do without others. Sure, we might be able to meet every physical need on our own. But we can’t go without a face to face conversation, a hug, the very things that make an authentic human connection. Alone is the opposite of God’s plan. To be seen, known and valued, even just for a moment, is a desire that runs deep to the core of all of us. It is human to connect. Surface interaction is the plagiarism of authentic human connection. It’s the counterfeit that seems to satisfy but leaves us hungry for something more. In unique times of isolation or hardship our need for something real and meaningful rises to the surface. We’re no longer surviving off scraps of connection and our spirits need far more to heal the wounds that hardship makes. It’s this awareness that can remedy, not only our current malnourished spirit, but the relational patterns that have led us there. We need one another. Sure, we could say the need is greater now. But truly, we simply need one another. Always. Even on the average days.
I’m walking away from Spring of 2020 asking myself questions about physical contact, relationships, and human connections. The answers won’t come quickly, it will be a process. There are a few things I know at this moment though…
-Connection takes work and intention. It can be as brief as an encounter with a stranger in the store or the ongoing, weekly conversation with a lifelong friend.
-We can see people, everyday even, and never connect with them. Connection requires vulnerability and love.
-We need one another. It doesn’t make us weak, it makes us human. And reaching out makes us resilient.
-To be truly known by just a few is far more valuable than to be viewed by many.
-To be seen with authenticity requires risk. To see with authenticity requires curiosity.
-Imperfect connection will always win out over plagiarized and counterfeited connection.
Take a few risks. Put effort into a few relationships. Smile and look into their eyes. Wonder how they might be feeling. And then ask them. Answer questions honestly. Share a little, then a little more. Reach for what’s authentic. See others for who they really are. Allow yourself to be truly known.