Grit, Life and Fiji

We’ve been watching The World’s Toughest Race as a family for weeks and this afternoon we watched the finally. We watched people do things we know we can’t do ourselves (at least not yet) and while we admired the courage and work that came before their arrival to the Start line of that race, we also noticed that there were some clear distinctions in the mentality of the racers. Age and experience seem to play into this. As we discussed and observed there was one trait we distilled it down to: GRIT. 

Some athletes seemed unflappable no matter what came along. They kept a realistic while positive attitude through each challenge they encountered. Others had a spirit that dipped high and low as fast as the rolling hills they hiked. Age seemed to be a major factor. The older the athlete the more they were able to withstand difficult events, even if they weren’t as fit as their younger counterparts.  It is my theory that an older athlete has naturally experienced a greater number of challenging life circumstances in which to learn how to dig deep within themselves, finding their toughness and strength. They’ve had to learn how to do hard, HARD things in life!  

With due respect to the accomplishments of every single athlete, this inner strength was brought up over and over again. I wanted my kids to see this week-long race in Figi as an analogy for all of life. It will rain. You will fall down. People will fail you. You’ll be so numb you don’t think you can move. You’ll be in more pain than you think a human being can endure, and then you’ll keep moving through it. The boat you’re in will get flipped over. Sometimes you’ll slowly take on water before you realize what’s happening. You’ll ask for help from strangers. You’ll lose your way. And then you’ll find the path back. The muck and crap will weight you down. You’ll knock the weight off and press on again.  

We watching one team after another pull themselves out of the 8-kilometer swim in 50 some odd degree water.  It’s a marvel, the human ability to move forward despite already doing the impossible for seven days. It’s around this point in the race that teams started to struggle physically or miss time cut offs set by race organizers. A group of four in their 70s pushed through every obstacle and difficulty that came at them, all with enviable fortitude of spirit. While they weren’t permitted to finish the race, they won in every sense that mattered. Finishing as friends, never giving up on their race, conquering mountains right up to the very end of their years. Even when they were told the race was over for them, they chose a forward mindset, looking at their results with a sense of gratitude for how far they come. 

During the last episode dozens of athletes dig deeper than they’ve had ever had to go. We watched as one particular athlete took a breath to verbalize the pain, a moment later getting up and moving forward again. My youngest quietly said, “Look, Mom. There he goes. He found his grit.” I could hear it in his voice. The truth of what he was watching had sunk to his core: You can choose to access an inner strength, doing things you never thought possible. Hearing the reverence in his voice I knew I had watched a pivot moment. I thought of the promises I’ve made to myself and broken, the moments I quit, saying I just couldn’t go an inch farther. Something sunk a little deeper for me too. I needed to make sure he saw me finding my grit, doing hard things and pressing forward in every season of life. 

While I know my kids don’t need a perfect parent, I also know they catch more than they are taught. If I want my offspring to learn grit, I’ll have to show them how it can be done and I’ll have to stop breaking the promises I make to myself. It’s probably not necessary to climb a Fijian waterfall and swim 8K in 50-degree water in order to show my kids how to live a gritty life. But can I stick to that marathon running plan? Or let them find me early in the morning studying? Can I try something scary, despite the risk of failure? I might not be ready to take on 10 days in the wilderness, but I’m ready to take a deep breath, find my grit and see how far I can go. Then see if, just maybe, I can go a little farther.